Peaches & Peace

I'm at the point now where I'm back with feet in two worlds.  As when I was preparing to depart, I'm now thinking about preparing to go to one place and what I want to do before I leave another.  Not all big decisions, just something that's in the back of your mind all the time.  I bought my plane ticket home.  I've mostly planned my "summer vacation" to the South Pacific.  I'm making plans to return to work, etc.  People at church this morning (my first Sunday singing with the music team) were asking how much longer I'll be here in Hawera.  When Eileen, Val, and I were at the movies yesterday they were making plans for a Girls Night once Gill gets back and before I leave.  Eileen joked about tying elastic to my ankle so I come back.  All these lovely people who have let me into their lives and included me, they make it hard to leave.

Am I ready to go home?  That is often the question, either asked by others or asked by me.  For once I can almost say yes.  Note the use of the world 'almost'.  Perhaps it's those persistent commitment issues, and perhaps it's just knowing the plan was to return in September all along.  I'm once again doing my best to be content.  There are times when I'm quite ready to return, I do miss my family and the stability/normalcy of life in PA.  There are other times when I think of the remaining 6 months on my visa, that I'll never get back, and I think I should stay.  Although I have seen the majority of the country there are still other places I would still enjoy visiting.  My return to work also created some anxiety, so that wasn't helping the contentment about returning.

When I was trying to decide if I should come to New Zealand at all, one of the big things holding me back was that I actually really enjoyed my job.  Having worked at the same company, in a few different positions over the years, it was nice to have a position I liked.  Then, when they decided to let me take a sabbatical, there was the tantalizing thought that perhaps I could have both.  I could move to NZ and still have my position when I returned.  It was unlikely, but not out of the realm of possibility.  Alas, after many emails, some miscommunication between the big boss and my boss...I can't have my position back.  As much as my boss and I would both like for me to have it back, the various people who took different tasks from me when I left are doing just fine with them.  On the bright side, I'm still trying to convince myself to view it that way, there is a position open that they would like me to take.  I'm grateful to have a position, and perhaps I'll enjoy it just as much, or more than, the one I had in shipping before I left.

"Trusting as the moments fly, trusting as the days go by, trusting Him, whate’er befall, trusting Jesus, that is all...  Singing if my way be clear, praying if the path be drear... While He leads I cannot fall... Trusting Jesus, that is all"