Friday, December 5, 2014

The Truth Hurts

Don't you just hate it when someone tells you something about yourself that you'd really prefer to think is untrue, but, after thoughtful consideration, you realize is actually quite true?  That was my experience last night, when in a conversation with Louis he told me he thinks I can be rather selfish, even though I'm a passive person.  Of course my first instinct was to protest, but I held my tongue and heard him out.  Sure, it sort of stung to hear that, but one of the maxims from work that they drilled into us was, "welcome criticism, and accept praise." Sadly, he didn't elaborate too much on the topic, so I was left on my own to ponder if it was true, and to try to determine what exactly had prompted him to say it.  How had I been selfish, when, was it really true?  If it is true, how can I change?  As an over-analyzer I probably gave some of the questions too much thought and other questions not enough.  For the last nine months it's been just me.  Aside from the normal social conventions and politeness, I only had to think of myself.  And even before moving here, I mostly had to just think about myself - I guess that's what comes from being single, I don't know.  How often do I actually put myself in the other person's shoes and try to think of things from their side before I decide something.  Often times even when I'm thinking of how another person might think or react to something it's ultimately so I can attempt to prepare myself for an appropriate response or reaction.  How sad that even when almost being selfless it still comes around to being about me!!  Unfortunately, googling "how to be less selfish" didn't immediately result in some easy answers.    But as in life, I guess it's a journey; one step at a time.  I guess it was rather appropriate timing, since it's now the Christmas season, the season for giving (and not being selfish).....

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